The Euphemism Nightmare

Disclaimer: All those allergic to “big english”, please return to your homes.

In all the words that humans have created purely as descriptions i.e adjectives, some are considered desirable, some are not. For every adjective, there is an opposite, and there is a human being that fits that description.

This human could be you.

Let’s take this typical scenario, featuring a commonplace “recording artiste”:

This reaction is now considered normal. It’s not “nice” to be called “short”. However, it is exactly the same as this:

There is a difference between an insult and an inconvenient truth. Thanks to the media’s projections of words they declare “offensive” and the associated unnecessary censorship, people have learned adopt a system of using “nice words” for obvious descriptions: Euphemisms. What makes a euphemism a meaningless word is that it only functions as long as its use is not commonplace. Once everyone, including the person referred to, knows the euphemism, it easily becomes a synonym of the original “insult” and we’re back to looking for another “nice word”. This is the “Euphemism Drift”:

“What is the big deal?” you might ask. Moron. Because they are based on bullshit, euphemisms are always more verbose than the original descriptive term, even though they refer to exactly the same thing. If we don’t stop it now, learn to take things as they are and stop (as they say) “catching feelings” over adjectives, this is our destiny:

“You’re fat.”

“He’s dead.”

“You’re ugly”

“By massly publicized and accepted view, the combination of your skin tone and facial features as well as the proportion of your breast tissue to your pelvic width and gluteal fat are, by virtue of mental imagery juxtaposed on simulations of sexual encounters, considerably arousing.”

In any case, it will come to an end soon; when the Chinese take over and everyone has to learn Mandarin. Let’s see you pull off that shit then, wankers.